Love and Marriage

If you’re a betting man or woman. I’m pretty confident in betting against you. That you putting a ring on yours and another is not going to change them. So many people get into relationships with the intentions on changing some or everything about their spouse. At the beginning when red flags go up they get ignored. With the frame of mind that once we get married those things will change. Once they truly realize how well that I treat them they will make a complete transformation. And the birth of children will really create a full metamorphosis. Well this is where you place your money on the table. People can grow and they can make changes within themselves if that is their personal journey. But changing for you or anyone else is short-lived like a magic potion that will eventually wear off. You want to be with somebody that is growing individually as well as with you as a couple. If not, this is exactly what outgrowing someone means. That never made sense to me but I now understand. Just based on friends, previous relationships and even family members. Some people are moving forward while others are stagnant. And if you’re the one progressing it is your duty to uplift and inspire. There is a difference between change and growth. You absolutely can not enter a relationship or marriage seeking to change a person. It is just completely unrealistic and wrong. What you want altered in one might be a perfect match for another. You will only disappoint yourself and irritate your significant other on this mission for transformation. Recognize what attracts you to someone, with their flaws and all. Can you still love them if they remain? Or are they deal breakers? If so, then you should break now. If someone is showing their true selves. You either embrace it or if you can’t, move on. As couples, we should inspire, nurture and build each other up. If the goal is to change one. Or one does’nt have the desire to grow while the other does. Then you all are simply not a match. Better to make the choice now than later. So many people stay in relationships for what could be in a person other than what it is. If you can’t see a future with a person if they don’t change who they are. Then find that person who is. Find that one you can love through the good and the bad times. Because you love them and everything that comes with them regardless. And this is why you must truly know who you are with. Don’t turn a blind eye on red flags that are imperative to you. They will only come back and bite you in the end. The things that most people break up or divorce over. Is something that was there from the beginning. Love and marriage is not a joke. It should be cherished and respected. And it only can if the one you’re with, you cherish and respect. Relationships should be with relatable people in some sense. You might be different but you can relate, understand, and support these differences. If you’re not marrying for convenience, security, status, finances, or out of obligation. Then you need to know that love is a beautiful thing. However, in between and throughout love and marriage, life and s*it happens. Ups and downs, victories and disappointments. So have your spouse be your partner through all of this. You can’t survive it with someone you don’t truly love. Real love is a partnership. Lift them up when they are down, keep them strong when they are weak, be supportive, grow together. And most of all love them for them, flaws, and their dirty drawls. Thats honest and sincere love and marriage. When the chips are down you stay up.